


Don't Know If You Want Me

by carnivorousBelvedere



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Beta!Dave, Consent, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega!Karkat, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 07:14:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14785901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carnivorousBelvedere/pseuds/carnivorousBelvedere
Summary: The one time of year Karkat can't pretend he's a beta is when his heat hits.Too bad Dave is actually a beta and would never want to help him out, right?(Heatfic, you know what it is)





	Don't Know If You Want Me

**Author's Note:**

> Jammed for the Karkat Thirst server, submitted for Strilondes Modern/Magic AU theme sprint. Inspired by Essynkardi for their beta!Dave ideas!  
> title from [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3dpZIBL4DY)

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are 100%, no questions asked, a regular ass run-of-the-mill beta. 

Nothing to see here sir, move along.

You grit your teeth as you shove the steamer leg into the milk frothing cup. It clunks against the delicate machine and a little bit of milk splashes out. You can’t find it in yourself to mind right now but somebody else does.

“Whoa there dude, what did the espresso machine do to you?” Dave cracks, his own hands busy shoveling tea into small bags but his head is twisted over to look at you with a stupid grin. Your heart suddenly flutters and you grit your teeth, gripping the cup a little tighter. You look back down at the machine and try not to feel the heat on your neck where you can sense his gaze. 

Fucking hormones. 

“Fuck off, Dave,” you shoot right back at him. “I am not in the mood for any shit today. Especially yours. I just wanna get through this shift and go home.” 

In fact, you’re kind of anxious to be done. Your eyes keep shifting to the clock, praying the scent neutralizers don’t wear out a second sooner. On any other day you wouldn’t be worried with your old reliables but not today. Nope, like clockwork, your heat is scheduled to begin in the next twenty-four hours and maybe sooner. You can already feel it settling into your bones and it’s only a matter time before it hits you like a freight train. If you’re not careful someone might set it off on the way home and that’s a fuckton of nope you do not want. 

You hate the way your eyes snap up anytime a stocky alpha walks through the door. You were worried that’d you’d have to leave the afternoon shift all to Dave when an alpha student athlete walked into the door. You wanted to hate him just with the way he strolled in like a cocky bastard but your hormones were telling you otherwise. Some base part of you wanted to leap over the counter and plop yourself onto the undeniably giant cock he was barely hiding in those gym shorts. 

The thought of that whole moment made you want to growl and throw something. 

Why were you such a freak? A significantly small proportion of the population was male omega. You never wanted to be made this way, slapped with a neon sign that once a year screamed, “Fertile, horny babymaker! Stick it in me to procreate today!”

If you’re being entirely honest, you are the farthest thing from a beta. The fact that you are an omega churns in your head as a constant threat while you wear the facade and pray you blend in enough. 

You finish making the latte and slap it onto the counter. Only two more hours to share touch- er, breathing space with Dave. Your face burns with shame. Of course your hormones are making you thirsty for your friend. And he was your friend. You are bros, in fact. The best Beta Bros this side of campus.  
But of course even minus the heat-laden thoughts, you were nursing a taboo and embarrassing crush on him, and had been for awhile. Your entire body jumped as he squeezed past you to get a refill of filters from the closet earlier and there’s no way he hadn’t noticed. 

Was it really so wrong? To want someone who you know would be gentle and soft with you? Who wasn’t just all hypermasculine bluster and all that nonsense? Not that Dave didn’t pretend to be half the time which was infuriating in itself. 

Fuck this train of thought, you just keep circling back to Dave, but you can’t stop yourself from ruminating on it as you start the next order, a pour-over with four shots of vanilla and cream on the side. People are weird. 

You gave up trying not to judge people’s orders after day one of this job. Especially during finals season. No Susan, I can’t just put the cookie crumbs from the milkshakes into your cappuccino. Those go in the milkshakes. 

“Uhh, Karkat? We have a customer and you’ve been staring daggers into the sink for like two minutes,” Dave gently prods you.

You snap your head and buzz over to the register. Goddamnit, your slow descent into a completely non-functioning human for a week has already begun. Hopefully you’ll sleep through this one and when you tell them you got the flu they’ll be none the wiser. 

When you look over at Dave he’s frowning at you, you can even see his brows pulled down behind his shades. He is so so close, it would be so easy to just fall into his arms and you allow yourself the blissful thought of him running his fingers through your sweat-matted hair. I’ll take care of you, he says in your thoughts. You didn’t realize it was physically possible for your grimace to deepen but it does. You take the customer’s order in a hasty fashion and struggle to ignore your daydream. 

While you’re scooping espresso Dave corners you. You catch a whiff of his scent and it absolutely frays any coherent thought you had. You just want to melt into him and it makes your knees buckle a little. 

“Hey man you feeling okay?” he asks you. 

In the least gentle fashion you hook the portafilter into the machine, jamming it in a way that your boss would definitely pull you aside for. Those things are pretty expensive.

You open your mouth to start to tell Dave it’s none of his fucking business but an idea strikes you. If you’re about to call out sick for the week for your stupid heat might as well sell it.

“To be honest I think I’m coming down with something,” you let your voice take on a husky nature. It seems to startle Dave.

“Oh, huh,” he says, his jaw slackened. He seems to recover from his momentary lapse next and actually speaks. “You didn’t have to come in you know its slow today. Don’t wanna catch your germs bro, I got midterms coming up.”

Of course he always has to ruin any sincerity like that, you silently grumble. You nod anyways, thankful that your shift partner is swallowing your little lie. “Yeah I was definitely gonna stop at the store after work for some sudafed but I don’t even know if I have it in me.”

He’s nodding too now but his jocular composition is back. “Pick up some chill when you get there. God knows you run out way too fast.” 

You roll your eyes. Another hour and fifty minutes to go…

\----

Your shift wraps itself up without much more issue. During that time you mentally take stock. Water bottles? Check. Cliff bars? Double check. Aaaand there isn’t much more to that, besides your bottomless box of electrolyte tabs and the bottle of sleeping pills. And your toys, but you are so not going to let your brain go there right now. 

Dave is being weird. He gets in your space a little bit more than usual and when you finally take off the apron and hang it up among the others he puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it. 

“Uh, feel better man,” he says, and he sounds just about as bewildered as you feel.

“....Thanks,” you reply after a lifetime and shoulder your way out of there.

It’s not until you’re halfway across campus on the way to your apartment that you realize Dave might have been subconsciously picking up on your heat. You pull your jacket a little tighter throw on your hood as you pass a gaggle of students, even though it’s actually pretty comfortable out. You’re paranoid now.  
It’s kind of weird. Betas aren’t supposed to be affected by heats, that’s the whole point of being a beta. Or at least that’s what you’ve been taught in every sex-ed class you’ve suffered through in your lifetime. His caring behavior would have been suited for an alpha that was trying to get in your pants. And even then the whole point is to just make you comfortable for a good fucking. You make a mental note to google it later. 

You get back to your apartment and key in your door code, unlocking it. You should really get around to changing it now that Dave’s figured it out from coming over to play games or do homework with you after work. The little shit made a point to figure it out when he learned you even had that kind of lock. 

The door clicks behind you and you settle into preparations. You already have the forged doctor’s note to send to all your professors, and your boss. You have one test this week but too bad, mother nature doesn’t wait for you to get your degree. You have a secret to maintain. 

The rest of it’s just housekeeping; checking the door scent block, making sure there aren’t any dishes in the sink that will go moldy. 

You’d thought of just staying on the drugs. And then you learned the hard way that suppressing heats for too long causes serious issues. You’re not keen on repeating that experience. It’s not your first rodeo. In fact you think it might be your tenth. Should have bought yourself a cake, happy tenth anniversary since your genetics gave you the good ol’ fashioned middle finger. But also happy tenth anniversary of no one finding out, save for a few select people. Like Rose and Kanaya after they mated up. 

You take a moment to wonder how Dave would react if he found out. He’s always fronting with you, with everyone. You’ve rolled your eyes a million times about all his comments about bitches waiting in line to fuck him, etc etc. Would he baby you like everyone else, suddenly treat you like a delicate piece of glass? Would he laugh and wonder why you aren’t busy popping out babies? 

The thought sours your stomach. You want him, you know that enough. And you know that you shouldn’t. You *should* want an alpha, big and strong and virile. Betas and omegas aren’t supposed to mix. Betas can’t keep up with an omega heat. Betas can’t handle an alpha rut, they are just physiologically not made for it. 

But Dave is just. 

Dave. 

When you spend time together alone it feels natural and good and like he was always meant to be there with you. 

If you’re being entirely honest you just wish you could be like him or John. You wish you could call them up right now for a movie night or round of smash bros. No need to worry about falling into a week long black hole of craving dick, lets just hang out and shit talk each other and ignore all our coding homework. 

Yeah, that’d be nice. 

You strip down to your boxers and throw yourself onto your bed. The only thing to do now is wait until the drugs wear off. 

You can feel the last dregs of your suppressant tab wear off over the evening as you slowly sink into a sweaty mess. You grip your abdomen and and breath deeply. Your hole aches, begging to be filled by something, anything. It’s coming on really strong, taking you by surprise. You feel as if you don’t get a dick right now you might actually die. That’s what heats are and it’s only going to get worse. 

You throw open the cabinet under your bed and pluck out the first dildo. There’s no knot on this one, there’s no way you can handle that straight off right now. It’s decently sized, good enough for what you need right now. You haven’t looked at these in ages, in fact you try to ignore their very presence that’s a constant reminder of your situation. 

You’re not really thinking about that right now. The boxers come off, here’s to being naked for a straight week. Clothes are no longer your friend.

You flip onto your back and throw your legs open, placing the dildo between your legs. Your cock is standing up straighter than the football field goal post. Fuck. This is why you wish you had a partner.  
You sink the dildo in, you’re already soaked and it slides into your second hole without any gradual working up. The area between your legs is already slick and sweaty. You grunt audibly and begin to thrust it. 

It feels so good to have something inside you. The burn in your hole is alleviated but only slightly. You thrust it in harder and grip your cock with your other hand. It’s too dry, you dip the hand between your legs where it’s wet and pull out the toy, running your hand over it to get your own fluid on your hand. The dildo slides back inside and you put your wet hand on your cock. Much better. You work the toy and your cock in sync and lose the last bit of control you had over your thoughts. 

You imagine Dave on top of you, pounding you into your bed as you cry out. You imagine him taking your cock into his mouth as he fingers you mercilessly. You want to dig your nails into him while he gives you what you crave. 

You want and want and want. 

You want Dave. You keep up the thrusting and stroking of your cock until you cum on your hands, a single word escaping your mouth. 

“Dave,” you gasp as the sticky liquid runs down your fingers. You have just enough energy to wipe it off with a tissue and throw the covers over your sweaty body.

The wave of shame hits. You just got off on your first night of heat thinking of your friend and coworker. A beta. You turn on your side and fall into a well deserved rest. 

\----

When you get home for the day you throw open your laptop. In one window is your CS homework, in the other window is your beatmaker. You let out out a long breath and sit back in our chair. Coding doesn’t really sound appealing right now. 

You feel, you dunno, weird? Since the the other day you hung out with Karkat at his place you’ve felt kind of off. It’s like your brain is coated in molasses and you have to puddle through it with effort. 

You ping Karkat. He’s offline, which is kind of weird for this time of day. Whatever, he’ll get your messages when he eventually logs on.

TG: yo karks  


TG: got any of that sweet sweet source code from 351  


TG: dont tell me youre too busy beating it to be working right now  


TG:  


TG: okay sorry that was weird i just dont feel like doing this assignment  


TG: if youve gotten around to it lmk  


TG: if not we can just bitch at sollux until he gives it to us

You leave your message block open in the background of your computer while you idly play around with mixing some beats, leaving your matlab tab entirely ignored.  
Nothing pings in the background. You frown, that’s not typical. Usually he’s already yelling at you for being a lazy shit. 

The next day isn’t any better when you finish class and pop into work for your afternoon shift. There’s a message from your boss that Karkat called in sick and Lori is filling his shift. Well damn. So he is sick. Secondary to hoping you won’t get sick too, you hope he’s okay. Although it isn’t exactly flu season.  
You text him on your break.

hey dude  
heard you came down with a downright case of the nasty  
but this assignment wont code itself  
lol  
i get youre sick and shit but can we smash it out later  
ill bring your favorite piss juice from the caf  
jk its my favorite piss juice

That’s weird, none of the messages actually go through. The blue bubble doesn’t show a ‘delivered’ message under it. You even step outside, wondering if it’s the service or shitty campus wifi you’re attached to. Is his phone off? You flip over to your pesterchum app. He still hasn’t been online. God, you’re being clingy. 

In fact you feel really weird for caring this much. It’s not the first time he’s done this, he has a habit of passing out and hibernating for days, weekends on end. But for whatever reason you feel an unwavering concern in the pit of your stomach. Like he _needs_ you or something.

The gay as fuck thought shudders through you. Bro would be laughing at you if he could hear your thoughts. 

_Poor baby beta Dave_ , he’d say, _Not alpha, can’t fuck an omega, so pathetic he’s gotta go after dick. No tight, wet holes for him._

God fuck Bro. If you weren’t paying your way through undergrad you would have fucked out of that apartment day one. But shit, you couldn’t justify chucking the rent for anywhere else out of your loan payment. 

That’s why you like Karkat though. He never brings it up. You never have to feel like you measure up less to anyone. That’s probably why you spend so much time at his place and avoid your own. Except you gotta make it clear that you’re still on the alpha side of things, genetics be damned you should have been one, the Strider line just made one small hiccup. 

Oh, who are you kidding. 

God forbid Bro find the omega boosters among the alpha stimulant drugs you bought on a whim that one time. You bought them with the modafinil you use to manage your ADD off-label. Some greynet website you used Sollux’s mined bitcoins on. Funny enough, the alpha stims are probably more frowned upon than the daffy. 

You haven’t had a chance to use either, they just sit there in your hidden bathroom stockpile. 

Sometimes you just stare at the packages and wonder what they would feel like. You felt pathetic ordering the alpha ones, even more pathetic ordering the omega ones. But you just want to know. 

You keep checking your phone and you’re kind of confused as to why you care so much. Karkat is sick, so what? He’ll be fine. You’ll bring him some hot drank and make sure he doesn’t fall behind in class, totally no big deal. 

The shift drags on with an odd anxiety growing. You tell yourself it’s just because of your homework looming. Either way, you’re gonna go see him. You clock out of your shift and hang up your apron, but you don’t leave before you make two large, scalding apple ciders with a heavy plop of caramel sauce on top. You cap them off with tabs so the steam doesn’t escape through the mouth hole and place them in a one-handed cardboard drink holder. You nod to the next shift employees and practically run out of there. 

You start the trek across campus to Karkat’s apartment three blocks off the northern edge of campus, but not before you make a quick detour at the campus bookstore, complete with a small pharmacy. You grab a box of Sudafed daytime for his sleepy ass. You’re about to check out but you see a pile of those cheesy ‘get well soon’ heart balloons on a stick. You grin and grab one, he’s totally gonna love it. You check out and stick the balloon and box of sudafed into the third and fourth slots of the drink holder. 

Perfect. Bro to bro care package complete. Time to go and prostrate yourself at his door until he lets you in and you can finally finish this dumb assignment. 

\---

You get to his door and stand there awkwardly. You have the drinks in one hand and you’re staring at your phone in other, messages either ignored or just… not received. You lift the phone to your ear, dialing his number. You shift your shoulder so your backpack straps stops falling down your arm. 

The call goes straight to voicemail. Well, shit. 

Someone walks down the hallway and gives you a pitiful look. You shift your stance uncomfortably.  
Your phone lights up as John messages you. You exhale and click the message to fill your screen.

EB: hey man what are you doing? you’re off work right?  


TG: yeah kinda busy though  


EB: uhhhhhmm okay with what?  


TG: karkat is sick  


TG: bringing him stuff like a real bro  


EB: oh. like what?  


TG: uhhhh cider from the caf and cold meds  


EB: huh.  


TG: what  


EB: no no. i mean. that’s nice i guess?  


TG: why the question mark  


EB: idk i didnt realize you and karkat were that close  


TG: what are you talking about  


TG: of course we are  


TG: we brought you soup that one time you ungrateful ass  


EB: that was different! that was both of you guys.

Frustrated, you huff and flip out of the app. You dial Karkat’s number one more time. Voicemail. 

You look around to make sure nobody’s about to come around the corner and press your ear on his door.  
You don’t hear anything. Alright, gotta do this the hard way. Karkat won’t mind if you just leave it on the table. 

You bite your lip and stare at the passcode lock. Fucking what was it again?

You’d learned it awhile ago and in victory stopped paying attention when you hung out.

You dig into your memories. 3… 4…. 6… 9? You press in order and the button blinks red, wrong.

Oh of course. You remember why you hated the code so much. Why couldn’t it just be 3469? The best combination of numbers. 

Nope. You plug the numbers in, 3....4…..6… 8. 

Green, you’re in. You push the door open and slip inside, closing it behind you.

You take in a breath and…. holy shit.

It smells _so good._

The feeling in your chest that had been floating and slowly growing there this entire week suddenly unfurls itself. It grows and spreads until it reaches your head and your stomach and whispers at you: 

Karkat. He needs you. 

It’s so sudden. You can’t handle the intensity of this feeling, whatever it is. 

You stagger to the table and put the drinks down, a shuddering breath leaving your body.  
The need, ache inside you to find him beats away but you shake your head and try to sift through your coherent thoughts. It’s almost impossible, like pushing up against a giant wall of jelly. 

Karkat, Karkat. You want to hold him, say his name with reverence, and fuck him until he’s a babbling mess.

Wait, what? 

You claw through the insanity that’s suddenly overtaken you, shocked at the thoughts and images pouring into your brain. They're delicious and just so so wrong. 

There’s an omega in here. You can smell it. That’s what it has to be. 

But, what? Why would that be? Could Karkat be… with one? You don’t hear anything.  
Your thoughts fade away into your senses again. 

Your pulse accelerates and your breathing becomes uneven. You realize you’re shaking. You can feel it inside you as you breath in the air longer, that sweet ache in your abdomen. Each uneven breath sprawls you further and further into a cavernous abyss you want to lose yourself in. 

Your eyes fall on Karkat’s door and your legs move of their own accord. 

“K-Karkat?” you call out. Your hands have tremors and you can barely grasp the door handle.  
You shove it open and oh god if you thought it was bad this was worse. This was magnetizing, blasting your face and sinking into your very being, telling you a very singular thing: that you needed Karkat and he needed you. You let yourself sink lower into the molasses pudding of your failing frontal cortex. 

You manage to make words, still in disbelief. “Karkat?” you call out again.

The covers on his bed move and out falls out a head. You’re stuck frozen to your spot in the doorway. 

Two glazed over eyes meet yours. 

“Dave?” Karkat answers you.

The sound of his voice, that look, it sends electricity down your chest that goes straight to your cock. The burning in your abdomen doesn’t falter, it begins to link flames to your limbs. 

You can’t move. _Karkat’s an omega_ the realization floats through your head, the only coherent thought you’ve managed since you walked in.

That’s when the panic sets in.

This is bad, so fucking bad. You’re a beta, you’re not allowed, not supposed to be with an omega. You shouldn’t even be allowed near him. You shouldn’t want him. It’d be doing him a disservice. You could never give him everything he needed. This, this interaction, goes against everything you know.  
The right thing to do is leave and find an alpha to take care of him. 

But. 

The thought of an alpha like your Bro even getting within ten feet of Karkat right now shoots anger and jealousy through you. You would never let someone touch him who wasn’t you. 

Wait, what the fuck? What are these crazy possessive thoughts you’re having? 

You would never let someone touch him who didn’t deserve him, that’s what you meant. The thought still sends white hot anger and indignance through the center of your chest. 

No, he’s _yours_. 

“Dave… I… please,” Karkat speaks in a whisper as he sits up and stretches to put a foot on the ground.  
The panic you feel reaches your breathing and instead of warm heat your palms suddenly go cold and clammy. This is wrong. You shouldn’t be here, echoes in your head.

Out of a dark place in your mind, Bro taunts you.

*Fuck the omega, Dave. Fuck the little bitch,* he says.

Your stomach twists. This is wrong, you’re not lucid, and Karkat isn’t either. 

This is your friend. You’re not….

You need... 

_Karkat._

No. To leave.

His hand is extended towards you, beckoning you. You step backwards and flip on your foot, running out of there and slamming the door.

 

The cider steams on the table, forgotten. 

\---

When you finally bust out of his building you breathe in the fresh air hungrily. It’s harsh on your throat compared to the sweetness you’d just been marinating in. 

The fire inside fizzles out, turning down to a small pilot light that’s still there, a reminder of what just transpired. 

You shove your shades up as you press your hands against your eyes and images flash through them. Karkat’s naked chest poking up from under the covers, the line in the muscle where his deltoid met his bicep, and the gaped mouth begging for you. His fussed dark hair that you wanted to plunge your fingers into. 

The thoughts… aren’t exactly unwanted. Intrusive, but it’s not like you haven’t admired your bro before. Far from. You flat out stare at him sometimes. His angular face is expressive and fascinating enough to have caused many Nintendo match losses when you just couldn’t stop glancing at him. 

You totally don’t have a crush on him. Well, maybe? You might have felt the same thing for John when you both first started hanging out and then turned into something a bit more… platonic. 

Shit you do like him. Unless it’s whatever this weird week has done to your brain. 

It’s all confusing and you’re still so shaken up you can barely remember what day it is. You just faced down your best friend in heat, something that shouldn’t affect you at all, and were reduced to a horny mess.  
Your best friend. An omega. During their heat. These words play like a loop. Was it right to leave? Again like everything you’ve been told, omega assault is a serious crime, especially during heats when they can’t properly consent. 

When your breathing has calmed down enough you draw in enough energy to begin the trek to the subway. 

Fuck, can people smell him on you? You sniff your jacket and realize it’s a stupid thought. 

You sit in the back corner of the car and try to avoid any attention. It’s a quick way to get to your Bro’s apartment downtown. You don’t start to feel better as you run up the stairs of your apartment, in fact it gets worse as the mesh of arousing and nurturing emotions separate themselves. Relief sears you when you determine Bro isn’t home. Your door is shut and you’ve got an incognito tab open on your computer in a minute. 

Google leads to a mix of enlightening and embarrassing answers. 

‘Can omegas affect betas’ is your first search. 

Well, apparently yes. Some betas can have sexual dimorphism induced in the presence of the proper stimuli. 

However the process is rare and highly frowned upon, generally seen in isolated cases. Your stomach twists and you continue your wide eyed research. That’s when your phone lights up. 

—

You wake up dizzy with sticky thighs and an inexplicable sadness. You just had the weirdest dream during your haze. Dave was in your room. You wanted him so badly, he was going to take care of you, he was there for you, and then he just left you. What a shitty dream. 

Your ankles crack as you throw off the covers and jump onto the floor. It’s your apartment, you’ll get food naked if you want. The next wave will hit soon. 

You open your door and stumble to the fridge where you pull out a cold water bottle and down it. You turn toward the cabinet for a bar and groggily blink your eyes as a foreign object registers on your table. It’s a drink carton with two cups and what looks like a get well balloon. 

You stagger over to the table and open the cap. It looks like lukewarm apple cider from work. 

Cold fluid lines your veins. 

Icy panic fills you and you leap over to the counter where you left your phone. With shaking hands you plug it into the wall. It takes excruciatingly long for the phone to boot up and you debate the entire time whether it would be faster to run for your computer. 

Your phone starts followed by several notifications. Aaaaand all of them are from Dave. 

You chest seizes and you find your fingers numbly navigating to your pesterchum.  


-

CG: DAVE  


CG: WERE YOU HERE?  


CG: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK ANSWER ME. I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME  


TG: hey  


CG: OH THANK GOD  


CG: LISTEN YOU CANT TELL ANYONE. PLEASE  


TG: tell anyone what  


CG: DONT BE FUCKING COY WITH ME. ITS NOT THE GODDAMN TIME. I KNOW YOU WERE HERE AND FRANKLY I SHOULD BE FLIPPING THE FUCK OFF THE HANDLE EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT MY BIGGEST SECRET IS ON THE LINE HERE  


TG: i need you to be clear with me  


TG: so ill say it again  


TG: tell anyone what karkat  


CG: HOLY SHIT I CANT TELL IF YOURE GIVING ME AN OUT OR MAKING ME DO THIS BUT FUCKING FINE LETS CLEAR THE AIR HERE  


CG: THE FACT THAT IM A FREAK OF NATURE. A MALE OMEGA. AND IM IN HEAT, JUST FOR THE FUCKING CHERRY ON TOP OF MY SHIT SUNDAE. I GET IT, YOURE MAD I DIDNT TELL YOU  


TG: im not but okay  


CG: OKAY? THATS NOT THE KEY WORD IM LOOKING FOR HERE  


TG: im not gonna tell anyone i just  


TG: it was pretty crystal clear you were in heat and like im not sure what i should have done about that  


TG: i feel like something happened to me  


CG: WHAT IN FRESH HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT  


TG: when i saw you i felt something and i know im not supposed to feel that way  


TG: and im pretty freaked out because i thought i was going to hurt you or do something you didnt actually want  


TG: i wanted to  


TG: i dont know  


TG: cuddle you but mostly other stuff?  


TG: like… alpha things  


CG: OH NO  


TG: what  


TG: ….?  


CG: FUCK. I AM SO FUCKING PATHETIC. IM SO SORRY DAVE. I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND IF YOU NEVER WANT TO TALK AGAIN. ILL QUIT MY JOB SO YOU NEVER HAVE TO INTERACT WITH ME ANYMORE  


TG: dude no  


TG: just explain please  


CG: I MIGHT HAVE PATHETICALLY RELEASED PHEROMONES FOR THE LAST WEEK AROUND YOU. I JUST LOOKED THIS UP AND I DIDNT THINK IT WOULD DO ANYTHING BUT IT CAN. WE WERE JUST AROUND EACH OTHER SO MUCH THIS WEEK  


CG: IM SUCH A SELFISH BASTARD  


CG: I DONT WANT TO STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU. I DONT WANT YOU TO TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY BUT I KNOW I FUCKED THIS UP AND THERES NO GOING BACK NOW  


TG: i dont get it  


CG: WHATS THERE TO NOT GET HERE. I THINK ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS  


TG: i mean like  


TG: i don’t really understand whats going on here or like why i swear i just thought you were sick like you said and so i tried to bring you stuff like a true homie  


CG: NO, YOU DIDN’T. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I KIND OF MADE YOU DO THAT  


TG: what  


TG: no  


TG: im pretty sure i was coming at you with bromantic intentions  


TG: at first i guess  


CG: YEAH  


CG: SURE  


CG: LISTEN HEATS MAKE ALPHAS CARE MORE. SO THEY CAN HELP WITH ENTIRE STUPID PROCESS OF WHAT IM DOING RIGHT NOW. YOU JUST HAPPEN TO CARE A LITTLE MORE THAN USUAL BECAUSE BEING AROUND ME FUCKED WITH YOUR BIOLOGY AS A BETA  


CG: ITS TEMPORARY. ITLL GO AWAY SOON AND YOU CAN GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE  


TG: wait no i genuinely want you to be okay dude thats why i came over  


CG: ITS FINE YOU DONT NEED TO SPARE MY FEELINGS HERE DAVE. NOT LIKE IT MATTERS IM THE ONE WHO MESSED WITH YOUR HEAD  


CG: JUST PROMISE ME YOU WONT TELL ANYONE  


CG: I CAN FIND A WAY TO DEAL WITH LOSING YOU BUT I CANT DEAL WITH HOW MY LIFE WILL CHANGE IF THIS GETS OUT  


TG: dude im not gonna tell anyone and im not going anywhere  


TG: this doesnt have to change anything  


TG: i mean i felt weird and all to put it lightly but thats a little extreme  


CG: IT DOES AND YOU KNOW IT. ILL PROBABLY DO IT AGAIN IN THE FUTURE BECAUSE IM SO DESPERATE I LITERALLY HAVE TO SCENT SOMEONE TO GET THEIR ATTENTION AND I KNOW YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME  


TG: so you wanted me to feel this way  


CG: YEAH AND I SHOULDNT HAVE DONE THAT TO YOU. ITS WAS SHITTY AND SELF INDULGENT TO INVOLVE YOU  


TG: i thought you couldnt control it  


CG: SORT OF  


TG: its not really your fault then  


TG: listen dude i thought i was being a shitty person for how i felt  


TG: i thought i was all lustin and shit over you because you know  


TG: i guess thats just how it is  


TG: i really thought i was going to hurt you or do something you didnt want  


CG: THIS CONVERSATION IS LIKE SHOVING BARBS INTO MY EYES BUT NO TRUST ME  


CG: YOU WOULDNT HAVE FELT LIKE THAT UNLESS I WANTED YOU TO  


TG: heh  


TG: i kind of liked it  


TG: well  


TG: more than kind of  


CG: THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU SHOULD BE SAYING TO ME RIGHT NOW  


TG: why  


CG: BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO GET MY HOPES UP ABOUT ANY OF THIS. I WISH YOU WERE HERE TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS BUT THEN WHEN ITS OVER AND IT WEARS OFF YOU WONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME  


TG: okay dude do i even get a say here  


TG: i dont even know how i left  


TG: i really wanted to stay shit was tearing me up  


CG: I JUST ASSUMED IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WERE REPULSED BY WHAT YOU SAW  


TG: what no  


TG: literally the opposite  


TG: i know that i should have called someone to help you, like an actual alpha or someone whos actually made for you  


TG: because obviously im not  


CG: DAVE STOP  


CG: HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT FOR ONE SECOND THAT THAT SHIT MATTERS TO ME  


CG: I ALWAYS LIKED YOU FOR BEING YOU  


CG: GOD IM SO PATHETIC ITS JUST ALL COMING OUT NOW  


TG: i mean  


TG: same here  


CG: I DONT THINK I CAN HANDLE THIS RIGHT NOW  


CG: THE NEXT WAVE IS GOING TO HIT SOON  


TG: do you want me to get someone for you  


TG: i know it sucks and  


TG: i really dont like knowing youre alone  


CG: FUCK NO DAVE PLEASE YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN KNOW ABOUT THIS  


TG: i could also  


TG: come back i guess?  


CG: YEAH. GOOD JOKE  


CG: FUCK I NEED TO GO  


CG: SEE YOU WHEN I SEE YOU DAVE  


TG: karkat wait

-

By the end of the conversation you’re sitting on the cool toilet seat in your bathroom biting your hand off. You’re relieved to know it wasn’t all you. Karkat wanted this. Fuck it’s a weird thought to have but it melts warmth in your brain. Your research led to some descriptions of omega heat and they really don’t seem fun.

Your memory flashes to the way Karkat looked at you. How he wanted you. The realization pours into you and you can’t help but smile giddily at the thought that he wanted _you_. This feeling, whatever it is and however fucked up it might be, is there because _he wanted you_ to feel that way. 

He spurred this in you and… yeah, that’s cool. But then there’s guilt. He wanted you and you left him.  
Would it be so bad if you went back? You know there’s absolutely no way you would be able to keep up with him. 

You lean back in your seat and run shaking fingers through your hair. You let your hand with the phone rest in your lap and tilt your head back, closing your eyes. The aching inside you burns with new meaning through the filter of all this new information. You let yourself sink in and listen to what it tells you, as if you could put an ear to you chest and hear it speaking. You’d never heard your instincts so clearly before.

They’re still telling you, no, yelling at you to go to him. 

Now that you know all this, can things go back to the way they were? Will your friendship ever be the same? No, you tell yourself resolutely. It’s all kind of shitty. You shouldn’t be wanting him just now because he’s an omega but you can’t tell if all this was just speeding up the inevitable. Like no matter what you were you or he was, you would always find yourself there with him. 

You open your eyes again and look back down to the intermixed grey and red text on your phone. You’re kind of startled when his words really sink in. “I wish you were here,” it says.

“I wish you were here,” you read again.

Oh, fuck it. You’re gonna go help Karkat with his fucking heat. 

You stumble out of the bathroom into your bedroom. Wow, you really hadn’t stopped shaking this whole time. It’s hard to summarize the emotions flowing through you. You just know there’s excitement and worry but an overall sense of rightness. Can you do this? Who cares, you’re gonna do it. 

You almost run out of your door as is but as you grab your bag from the chair you realize that would be really stupid. Realistically you might be out of your apartment for a few days. Shit, you did not think this through at all. 

Deep breaths. 

You have just enough sense about yourself to grab a change of clothes, unless you want to go home in Karkat’s and smell like him. The thought spreads a pleased tingle through you. You debate for five seconds too long whether you should efficiently take the subway back… or splurge on an Uber and shave approximately five minutes off the travel time. 

Well, that’s an obvious one, and you hit the button on your phone. You spend the next two minutes of waiting bouncing on your feet and practically race out the door when the driver gets there. But you stop before stepping outside, your spine suddenly a straight line as you realize you forgot the most important thing. You sprint back to your bathroom and paw into the cabinet, pulling out the booster packs. You have to hold them up in the light to figure out which ones are which. When you’re sure you’re holding the alpha ones you shove them into a pocket of your bag and are off again. 

The anxiety is oozing off of you but your driver doesn’t even give you a second glance as you tap your feet impatiently in the back seat. You read another article about omega heats off of some alpha help website. The drive feels like hours, every excruciating second keeping you from Karkat. 

You finally find yourself back in font of Karkat’s apartment door with shaking hands, just like you were a few hours ago. Unsure of how to announce your arrival, you input the code and slip in, gently shutting the door behind you.

Your bag slides to the floor and slip off your shoes. Then you take in a deep breath. 

Back in his space, in his scent, the feeling from earlier flows through you stronger than before. But this time instead of fear it’s tinged with excitement and unbidden arousal. It’s like the feeling of biting into a sugar cookie applied to your entire body. 

When it flows up your brainstem and throws your very center off, you’re smiling. 

You dip back into the warm pool of your instincts. 

Karkat.

He needs you to take care of him. He can’t do this by himself. The alternating swells of _care_ and _fuck_ are conflicting and overwhelming and somehow right, as if they can’t be separated. 

And still there’s that steady refrain in the back of your head that’s now become almost rapturous: he wanted me he wanted me _he wanted me_. 

It’s like he’s a magnet and every step you take increases the voltage ebbing through you. Somewhere along the line your wanting him became needing. You don’t know how you ever could have turned away from him. How could you have done that, turned your back on him when he was so vulnerable? 

You push open the door just to see Karkat sit up against his headboard and urgently throw the covers over himself. It wafts the heavenly scent towards you and suddenly you’re locked in place, standing on a precipice and about to tumble over. 

“You came back,” Karkat breathes from across the room. He’s so beautiful like this. 

“Yeah,” you laugh shakily. You want him so badly. No, need him. His mouth is hanging open and you trace it with your eyes, licking your bottom lip. His eyes offset your face to watch it, and then snap back up. 

“If-- If I touch you, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to control myself.” You finally admit it out loud, the fear that had been hanging over you since you walked in earlier that day. If he says no, you’ll leave. 

Karkat answers you breathily, but there is no hesitation. 

“Then don’t.” 

You take a few steps until you’re at his bed, throwing a knee up. One of your hands meets the headboard, holding yourself over him, and the other slips straight into his hair. You find yourself straddling him over the comforter. He’s looking at you like he still can’t believe you’re there and you wish he would just touch you already. You vision fades out to blur from the sides and the only focused thing you can make out clearly is him. 

His scent drowns you and it’s a death you’ll gladly take. 

He’s still as could be when you finally kiss him, your lips sealing against his. He sucks in a breath for one searing moment and suddenly he’s all nails and urgency and desperation. His mouth opens against yours, kissing you back greedily. 

His mouth tastes stale, like he probably hasn’t brushed his teeth in a day, and he probably hasn’t, but somehow he still tastes so freaking good. You find yourself raggedly breathing him in, reveling in and tasting his heady scent. His nails are digging into your scalp and your back and you’re still wearing far too much clothes. 

You’ve still got him pinned between your legs under the covers and he writhes up under you. A groan escapes your mouth into his. 

He’s so warm. 

“Karkat, fuck,” you say.

“Dave, please, the wave is hitting and… and I need you,” he says wantonly. 

It breaks your nonexistent resolve. You’re still leaning over to kiss him and your hands move to unbuckle your pants. The way you shove them off is rather ungraceful but that’s not really important right now. Your dick springs out and whoa when did you get hard? 

What’s important is removing every barrier between you and the heated, writhing mess between your legs. He’s panting and squirming the entire time, and his hands even help you take off your shirt. 

Oh, fuck. If you thought he felt good before, his hands on your naked body feel like heaven now. His touch only increases the electrical pulses radiating through you.

You finally whip the covers off of him. Oh, you realize why he was so quick to cover himself. There’s a red dildo still inside him. For the first time since you laid your hands on him you hesitate and then pull it out.

It’s definitely bigger than you, and you realize you’re getting a crash course on male omega physiology. 

Fuck fuck fuck. You throw it to the corner of the bed. He’s so wet. 

“Dave,” Karkat breathes out. He’s heatsick. It’s so endearing and arousing your heart squeezes. He’s a beautiful mess, his neck curved over the back of his pillow and his hips jerking. 

You finally center yourself over him. There’s no going back now. 

With one elbow you hold yourself over him and run your fingers through the back of his hair. You take a fistful of his hair to still him and look back down between your bodies. 

“Don’t worry Karkat, I’m gonna take care of you,” you promise him. “I’ve got you.” He whimpers a response as your hand holds his head to the pillow. 

Your other hand goes to your cock and holds it over his hole. His own member sticks out hard between you. Your hands itch to touch him there but your instincts tell you that he needs to be filled right now. 

Finally, fucking finally, you plunge yourself into him and he cries out, thrusting up to meet you. You can’t get over how slick he is and how his hole tightens around you.

Oh, _oh_. You give another thrust and his entire body reacts, his nails digging into you anew. 

Pleasure shoots through your spine and you start to really thrust into him. He throws his legs around you, pulling you in closer and slotting your bodies together. 

You’re drowning in his scent, letting his pheromones guide your actions. The only thing you can focus on is relieving the omega in pain before you. Your brain is otherwise completely shut off. 

You lose control.

He throws his head back into the pillow as you thrust into him without restraint, unleashing a throaty cry. It only serves to spur you on and you keep one hand in his hair as you pound into him. Fuck, he’s so tight and wet and you’re filled with some kind of savage joy as you fill him. You drink in his relieved cries. His hands are all over you, from your back to your bicep to your neck. 

“D-Dave,” he gasps out. The sound of him saying your name with you inside him fills you with possessive exhilaration. 

He’s yours. 

You’re making him yours. 

Your other hand finds his. You slip your fingers between it and push his hand into the bed. His neck is still twisting and straining away. You lower your head and dig your teeth into the sweaty flesh of his neck, feeling his legs wrapped around you twitch.

“Dave!” he cries out. You can feel his cock grinding between you and you can’t wait to find ways to fill him and work it at the same time. You bite in a little harder and run your tongue over the skin you’ve captured.  
He’s in another place right now and it doesn’t seem to register. 

You don’t think you can keep this up for much longer, pounding away like this. He’s so tight and slick around you and the obscene noises he’s making are going to throw your over the edge. You can’t get enough of his body pushed up against you, feeling incredible on your skin. 

There’s no warning when it happens but you know when it does. 

Karkat’s orgasm tears through him and his hand grips yours tightly as it wracks his body. His hole spasms around you, suddenly tightening. It’s too much. You’re about to pull out of him but he doesn’t let you, his feet digging in around you. Wetness spurts between your bodies from his dick. You wish you could memorize his expression and the sounds he’s making right now. 

Holy shit, you’re coming inside him and some actual sense that still exists inside you is blaring a warning signal but you can’t stop. Karkat doesn’t want you to. He needs you until you’ve got nothing left to give.  
Whatever effects he’s exerting on you be damned, you can’t keep up. You ride out your own orgasm inside him with a frenzied shout. 

You start to slow down but his arms lock and tighten around you in refusal. Oh shit, he’s not done.  
It’s all overstimulation from here on out and it’s actually starting to get painful. His grip on you finally falters and you slow down. His eyes are closed and he’s breathing heavily. 

“Karkat? Karkat, dude, you there?” you say and extricate your fingers from his to brush some sweat-matted hair out of his face. 

His breathing slows and you slip out of him. Wow you’re both a mess.  
It looks like he is honest to god asleep. Good? You fucked him to bed, gold star. 

Now you’ve only got to repeat this more than a few times… Oh god you’re not gonna make it. 

You fall over onto you side next to him, struggling to catch your breath. You keep running your fingers through his hair, attempting to bring some order to the mess but just mostly enjoying how it feels. 

Right now he needs to rest. 

You can talk when the wave is over.

\--

Karkat finally wakes up half a day later and you don’t even know what hour it is. You woke up only a little while ago yourself. 

“... Dave?” he murmurs and starts to sit up. 

“Oh… hey man. Was wondering when you were gonna come to,” you smile at him and wonder if he feels as gross as you do. “Hey, let me get some water, you are probably dying.” You hadn’t wanted to leave him before in case he woke up without you. The thought of him waking up alone was too painful. You start to get off the bed but he grabs your arm.

“Dave, wait.” You stop. “Fuck, you’re actually here,” he croaks. 

“In the flesh,” you laugh quietly. His eyes widen as he takes you in. “What, it all coming back to you?”

“... Kind of.” His voice is filled with wonder. Finally his eyes snap up, fully awake now.

“We didn’t use any protection,” he gasps. 

You breath in deeply. “Dude chill. I’ll run to the store and buy that plan B stuff. Plus it’s not like I’m some crazy virile alpha and all…” No knot, barely enough stamina… the list goes on. 

He squeezes your forearm a little tighter as you move to get off the bed. “Don’t leave yet. Please.” 

“Okay,” you say, wishing he would say something else. Were you good enough? Is he alright? 

He falls back into the pillows and turns on his side, wincing. Still adorably heatsick. You both lay there for another few minutes. 

You run a hand down his side and squeeze his hip. “I’m just gonna get water, I swear I’ll be right back.” 

He nods weakly. “Bottle’s in the fridge.” He says so quietly you can barely hear him. 

When you bring some back he’s sitting up against the headboard. You hold out a bottle for him.  
“Hey, how you feeling?” you ask, hoping some of the haze has cleared. He crushes the bottle before answering.

“Fuck. So much better than I usually do at this point.” He looks at you and his face kind of pinches up. You’re not ready for whatever he’s about to say. “I have you to thank for that.” 

It’s not what you’re expecting. “Yeah of course.” You run a hand through your hair and drink.  
A familiar urge starts to grow in you. You know that Karkat needs you to take care of him. You scoot next to him and run your eyes over him, still finding it difficult to ignore his naked body 

“Hey, let’s go take a shower?” you offer when you’re finished drinking and listening to his steady inhales.  
He nods at you and your heart squeezes. You manage to draw him out of bed and walk him to his bathroom. He’s still a bit unsteady on his feet so you set him down on the toilet seat and go to start the shower. 

Karkat makes a pleased gasp when you help him into the tub and the water finally hits him. You pull him to you and let the water spray over you both, running a hand over his chest. 

You kiss the back of his head. “Back on earth?” you murmur.

“Yeah, mostly.”

“Still okay with me being here?” you ask. 

He scoffs. “More than okay. I hope you’re not mad I did all this to you.” He gestures vaguely, referring to this entire situation. 

“No. Fuck no. I just… I hope I was enough,” you say and tighten your arms around him. He pushes away from you and turns to face you, his brows pulled down. 

“That was the best I’ve ever felt during a heat.”

You can feel your face flushing. This whole circumstance is so ridiculous and foreign to you. “You’ve never been with an alpha then. I’m sure it’s way better than this.”

“Fucking… you wouldn’t feel this way unless I wanted you to! When all this is over you’re going to feel differently. You’ll be disgusted with me and you’ll never want to talk to me again. You’re just gonna see me like a weak little omega.” His arms are crossed. 

You reach for him. “Karkat, stop, please.” You pull him back to you, his arms still crossed and pushed up against your rib cage. “We’ll…. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, okay?” you kiss his forehead. You’re not sure if you should tell him how much you’re enjoying this, how fulfilling taking care of him is. Like this is what you were made for. You don’t want to think that it’s whatever pheromone effect he’s exerting on you-- it just feels so right. 

He’s still a little ball of anxiety. “I promise you I’m not going anywhere. Here, let’s finish getting you washed up alright?”

You pick up one of his bottles and pour soap onto your hands. You rub your hands together and then begin working it into his stomach.

“Will you help, er, wash me out?” he asks hesitantly and the request makes you so lightheaded you might keel over on the bathroom floor. “I know until we get the drugs it really doesn’t mean anything, but it’ll make me feel better.”

“Fuck… of course,” you respond in a whisper. When you’ve gotten the soap off your hands onto the rest of his body you slip down on to your knees, with the water spraying on his back. 

He’s staring down at you with wide eyes and a slightly gaped mouth and you can’t help but grin up at him. 

You want to worship him. 

You reach up and stick two hesitant fingers inside him, and then pull them out again. He’s still so wet with a mix of both your fluids. Slowly, and then speeding up, you start to work your two fingers inside him. The combination of fingering him and the running water is definitely helping to clean him out. You can see his dick beginning to react to the stimulation. Now is your chance.

He’s got one hand on the tiled shower wall and the other over his eyes, his head tilted back into the water as he whimpers. He’s not looking when you take him into your mouth.

“Oh-- Fuck, Dave!” He bucks his hips up into your mouth. He gets harder in your mouth while you start to suck down on him. There’s some soap getting in there but you can’t find it in yourself to care right now, matching the pace of your mouth with your fingers. His knees are buckling and you throw your other hand up to dig into his hips, helping to hold him up.

He doesn’t try to stem his moans and one of his hands goes into your wet hair, but he doesn’t apply any force. You kind of wish he would. 

You manage to squeeze in another finger without sacrificing your pace. Your name continues to spill out of his mouth and you can tell he’s barely able to hold himself up, his legs wobbling perilously. 

At least this time you get some warning. “Dave… I’m gonna….”

You pull your mouth off of him and press your face to his stomach but don’t stop fingering him. He comes onto your chest and his knees fully buckle, his arms going around your neck to catch himself. His body jerks and you laugh softly, letting him ride it out on your fingers. You can’t wait to lose count the ways you can please him like this. The realization hits that when all this is over you want to keep doing this with him and it doesn’t surprise you. 

You finally stand up, surprised to find your own legs weak. You switch places with him to wash off your chest. 

Karkat is leaning his back fully on the tile wall now. You put one elbow to the side of his face and lean in, your other hand wrapping around to the small of his back. 

He’s looking at you with half-lidded eyes full of adoration, his small smile spelling relief. The slightly too warm water continues to beat on your side. 

You lean forward and kiss him, eyes fluttering shut. He kisses you back and grins into it. It starts slow and then he throws his arms around you, kissing you hungrily. You’re lost in how good his wet body feels on yours. It’s nearly euphoric and it seems that he shares the feeling as he’s suddenly laughing into the kiss. 

“What? What is it?” you ask as he clings to you and continues to kiss your mouth. 

“I’m just so fucking happy,” he responds, still smiling. 

No matter what he’s been saying to you tonight, this is the only thing that breathes true relief through your body. Happy. You’re both so goddamn happy, wrapped up in each other like this. You know the lucid moment won’t last long so you soak it up while it’s here. 

Out of nowhere your stomach throws a loud growl that you swear echoes in the bathroom. Karkat only laughs and kisses you harder. You both tumble out of the shower and you make him stand there on the bathroom mat as your grab one of his towels and help dry him off. You take care to slow down as you towel between his legs and smirk as he jumps, a little sensitive. 

You find yourselves in his kitchen, towels wrapped around your waists and hair still dripping. He helps himself to another bottle of water and pulls out two Clif bars for you both. 

“How much longer do you have until the next wave?” you ask as you finish the bar and throw away the wrapper, trying not to let your performance anxiety claw through this delirious moment you’re having with him

“Fuck, I have no clue. Usually I’m not even awake right now,” he answers you. 

“I’m gonna need to leave,” you say and his eyes jump. “For the birth control,” you addend quickly. 

“Can… can we go when this is over?” he sighs. 

“You’re not worried about… you know?”

He shakes his head. “Stay with me, Dave.” It twists your heart. Of course you can’t leave him while he’s in heat. You were stupid to think that. 

You wrap your arms around him and tuck your head between his shoulder and neck. “Whatever you’re okay with babe.” Oh. It slips out and you release a small surprised gasp. 

When you pull away from him he’s smiling at you and it’s just so goddamn adorable. 

“I would offer to heat up the cider but it’s probably pretty gross by now.” It’s been sitting out in his kitchen for over a day now. 

He laughs. “Yeah, probably. Thanks for bringing it though. Thanks for learning my door code too, you nosy fuck.” 

You flash him a shit eating grin and press your forehead against his. “I knew you’d be thankful one day.” A thought tugs at your mental periphery. “So, uh, about those toys you got there.”

Karkat freezes in your arms. “Fuck. It’s so embarrassing you had to see those.”

“What? No, dude, it was hot as shit. I just…. I don’t think I’m gonna be able to keep up with you. Just… is it okay if I use them on you? If that’s alright with you.” You’ve gone back to looking away from him, your cheeks flushed with shame. 

He’s looking at you incredulously. “Yeah of course.”

God, you wish so badly you were enough for him. It’s not fair. 

He pulls you back to the bedroom. 

You’re both back in bed, towels abandoned on the floor. You’re surprised but pleased with how fast you’ve gotten comfortable with each other naked. You spoon him and kiss the back of his neck. It honestly seems like he’s gently vibrating, filled with elation. 

In the clearness of the moment reality kicks. 

“I think I have work in a few hours,” you murmur against his back. 

“Fuck.” He rolls over and faces you. “I think I can forge you a note.” Oh, so that’s how he was able to get out of it. 

“Okay. Well. You can’t forge our CS homework.”

He rolls his eyes. “Sollux was gonna send it to me.”

“Wow. You were prepared for this.”

“I kind of have to be,” Karkat sighs. 

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this, it sounds like a load of bullshit.” 

“I don’t need your pity,” he snaps at you. You frown at him and he sighs into you. “I just don’t like thinking being an omega is holding me back or anything. I just want to be a normal person, like you.” 

“I mean it’s honestly not. Look, dude, I never would have known unless all this happened I guess.” 

“Mmnh. Can’t lie, I’m pretty relieved to hear that.”

With a groan you sit up and mentally try to locate your phone. You realize it’s still in the pocket of your pants, abandoned on the floor from yesterday. “I’m gonna call in sick to work and then after we’re gonna look through all the goodies you have.” You wink at him and savor his expression. 

“Hurry up, asshole,” he answers you. 

You send a shady message to your boss that you’re sick and have picked up whatever Karkat has, promising to send a doctor’s note when you make it over to the campus health center. You turn your phone off and leave it on Karkat’s desk. You look back over to Karkat to see that he’s staring at you. 

“Can I help you?” you poke at him from across the room.

“You’re so hot, Dave. I just--- come here. Please,” he begs you gently. You comply instantly, meandering over to him and throwing yourself up on the bed. 

His eyes are eating you up greedily. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

“I still can’t believe you want me,” you mirror him quietly. 

His eyes meet yours. You pull him back to kiss his scalp and he scoots up to meets your lips. 

“We’re kind of a mess, aren’t we?” 

You nod in response, closing your eyes. “Don’t go discounting what a hot piece of ass you are, Karkitty.”

 

“I’m not going to dignify that nickname with a response,” he says.

“Too late.” 

You both lay there like that for a long time, your hands aimlessly running over each other.  
Your eyes snap open at some point. “Hope you’re not too out of it to give me the grand tour of all your toys you’ve got hiding around here somewhere.”

He groans and it comes out like a growl. “Oh, god. Okay let’s get this over with.”

He maneuvers over you and opens a cabinet under his bed. His face is contorted in physical discomfort as he pulls out three phallus-shaped objects. He points to the toy that you threw to the corner of the bed.  
“That’s just a regular one over there. This one vibrates, this is just a ribbed one… and this is a knotting one.”

He notices your confused expression so he sighs and presses a button. Oh. That’s why it’s called that. It literally makes a knot. It’s high tech but… you’ve never felt so inferior in your life. 

You don’t realize that you’re frowning deeply. Karkat’s put them back away and his head is cocked to the side in confusion. 

“Dave?” he asks and touches your shoulder. You jerk away from his touch. You’re not enough, you’ll never be enough for him. All of these are bigger than you. “Okay I realize showing you those were morbidly embarrassing but I didn’t think you’d react this poorly to them,” he quips but the hurt is unmistakable.

“No. Ugh. It’s not that,” you say, struggling to find the words. 

“Okay, what is it then?” He sounds impatient. 

“I can’t knot you!” you finally snap, exasperated. 

“Really? This again? This is what has you worked up right now?”

“You literally having a fucking knotting dildo, Karkat. Don’t try to tell me it’s something you don’t want.”

“Is nothing I’ve been saying getting through to you? I don’t care about that!” Karkat sounds frustrated.

You roll your eyes. 

“No, don’t fucking roll your eyes at me, stop your goddamn little hurt ego act. It’s not doing you any favors. I know you’re a beta, Dave! And guess the fuck what? I had a crush on you anyways! I know, sue me! And guess what? Your dick felt amazing. I can’t wait for you to fuck me again later! I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it!”

At some point during his rant your jaw slackened. He… he really did have a crush on you. He’d only just implied it up to this point but now you _know_. 

He’s about to open his mouth to keep ranting at you but instead he gasps and his hand goes to his abdomen. “Oh no, the next wave is hitting.” 

You suck in a breath and think about your poor unprepared cock. “I-- hold on.”

You leap out of the bed and tear for your bag where the boosters are. You grab a bottle of water and haul it back to the room where Karkat is starting to contort on the bed.

“What- what did you get?” he gasps out. He’s not going to be with it for much longer, you can feel the ‘fuck me’ pheromones beginning to spread in the air. 

“Alpha boosters,” you grumble an ashamed response. 

“Dave, holy shit, those are dangerous.” He gasps again. 

“You’re worth it.” You rip open a tab and pop it into your mouth, chasing the pill with water. _See you on the other side_.

You go back to Karkat on the bed and run your fingers through his hair as his breathing begins to grow ragged again. 

It doesn’t take long for the tablet to begin to kick. Oh, and does it kick. 

You can feel the sizzle of the drug as it dissolves into your bloodstream and makes it way up to your brain and down to your cock. In the presence of Karkat’s hormones it’s dizzying and overwhelming all over again. 

It peaks like a screaming teakettle. Was there an illegal amount of caffeine in this or was this what an alpha hormone rush was like? 

You can feel yourself fading from your own physicality and center in your brain, where suddenly everything is revolving around the writhing omega in front of you. 

Your dick is so incredibly hard. You’ve never been so hard in your life. 

“Dave,” he breathes.

You lose yourself in him.

\---

It’s so different from your toys.  
Having his real, warm, solid body pounding into you is so unalike from fucking yourself with them.  
You can never go back. You never want a heat without him again.  
It had been so good to have him in between the waves. You felt balanced and comforted and cared for, scent and presence steadying you. The wave hit with Dave’s arms wrapped around you, running fingers through your hair. 

Now he smells so good you’re delirious with it. Lost in your heat you shamelessly release hormones, commanding him to devour you like this. 

The heat has turned down a little bit than before, attenuated by the presence of the body with you. It leaves you a bit more sober. You’re thankful for it, hopeful you can control whatever ridiculous bullshit spews from your mouth when you’re heatsick. 

That’s not exactly the place you find your brain in-- you’re not really thinking right now. Far from. Your entire existence is taking this hot boy’s dick right now. 

Your legs are splayed out on the bed and Dave is on top of you, dominating your entire being. The feeling of him penetrating you is quenching the desperate burn in your stomach that you could never fully abate before. He’s holding himself up on straight arms over you as he fucks into your mercilessly. You think he might actually be growling and the sound is doing dangerous things to your body. 

He leans down to kiss you, biting your lips. 

You’re so full and pleased right now and you don’t want the good feeling inside to stop. All you need is the steady pound of Dave between your legs to complete you.  
At some point you find yourself on your hands and knees. Dave has hands digging into your hips and he’s fucking you from behind. Oh, fuck. This was the angle you were made for. There’s no way your toys could hit you this way. You can’t control the strangled cry that releases from you. 

Dave’s burning hands bring you back down to reality when you start to get lost in the clouds of your headspace. 

You beg for release.

He gives it to you, again and again and again. 

A total of five days after it started you wake up at some ungodly hour of the morning with the heat drained from your body, no longer in the trough of the waves. You look down at the sleeping body next to you, who looks exhausted even as they slumber. 

You can’t wipe the frown off your face, only wondering what he’s going to say when it wears off for him too. 

Your movement stirs him and his eyes flutter open. 

“Hey,” you whisper to him in the dark.

Dave pushes himself up to roll on to his back. “Hey hot stuff- oh I can’t feel my legs.” He shifts under the blankets, thrusting his hips up and pushing his shoulders down on the pillow. “....Oh yeah I’m gonna be sore for a few days.”

“You took so many of those goddamn tabs,” you say. 

He laughs quietly. “Worth it. Anything that made me a sex machine worthy of your standards.”

You huff and come forward to lean elbows on your legs. “I think it’s over by the way. The heat.” You keep your eyes on the bed, the wall, anywhere that isn’t Dave. 

“I don’t think I was gonna make it much longer, so good,” he says. He turns back over and throws an arm over your quads. “Shower?” You can’t say no to him. 

You’re both physically sore and out of sorts. Apologizes keep tumbling out of your mouth as you shower together again. 

But he refuses to leave your side still. Not for the trip to the pharmacy, not while he watches you take the pill, not when you go to get food after and take it back to your place to eat. 

“You realize you can leave, right?” you blurt over the spread of Mexican food on your table. 

His face falls. “I- Oh. Do you want me to?”

“No!” you say a little bit too loudly, leaning forward and gripping the table. 

His head jerks up to look at you. 

You both speak at the same time. 

“I know I wasn’t-” 

“It was wrong of me to--” 

You try again.

“I just know I can’t-”

“I totally understand if-”

Silence.

“Uh, you go ahead,” Dave says quietly.

“Right,” you say thickly, suddenly at a loss for words. “Okay. Uh. You did me a huge solid. And I hope you aren’t mad. I just, now that it’s over I understand if you don’t want to stick around. I just ask you not tell anyone. Obviously.” 

He’s kind of staring at you and then he shakes his head. “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“That you liked me.”

You scowl at him. “Of course I fucking meant it don’t make me rehash this if you’re just going to shut me down--”

“Okay,” he cuts you off.

“Okay?”

Dave draws himself in. “I’m still a little bit confused about all this. But dude I really wanna try this on for size. I can’t lie it’s a little weird to be out and about with you in real clothes.” You release a sharp laugh at that. “But I like you too and I wanna try and make this work.”

“It’s still the heat working on you,” say and regard him stiffly. You won’t let his words bubble into you and fill you with the floaty helium they’re threatening. 

“Okay well then, give me a few days and let me prove it to you then?” 

He’s looking at you so earnestly. 

So you say yes.


End file.
